Welcome to Global Parenthood Stories. In today’s installment we meet Pamela White who lives in Helsinki, Finland with her husband, two daughters and son. She shares what it was like when she first moved to Finland in 1999 and what it’s like now in 2023, how the Finns approach education and the simple joys of Finnish living.
First impressions: When I first visited Finland in late 1991, I didn’t like it much. It was cold, dark and expensive and we didn’t have much money after working in Nicaragua on very low allowances. It was going through a recession too, as it was soon after the collapse of the Soviet Union, which also made things difficult. Virtually no-one spoke English and the variety of food in the shops was limited. The period was also overshadowed by the stress of trying to get visas organised and me being pregnant and wanting to get back to Australia to give birth. We came back on holidays a couple of times after this though, and I liked it a lot more, especially summer, when there is more light and there are lots of berries. That convinced me to to give it a go, longer term.
Housing: Some people live in houses, but I would say the majority live in apartments. We live in an apartment, about 5 kilometres from the city centre of Helsinki. The apartment is 105 m2, which although doesn’t sound very big by Australian standards, it’s considered spacious in Finland. Some great Finnish inventions in most houses include: a draining/drying rack above the sink, inside the cupboards – so you can stack dishes there as you wash – no need to dry. Many apartments these days have their own washing machine and sauna, but many like us still use a communal laundry and sauna.
The daily joys of living in Finland: One of the joys of living in Finland is the access to nature. The forest and the sea are very close. It’s easy to go to ice skate or ski in winter, or swim in summer. We have access to an extended family summer cottage on an island where we enjoy sauna time and peace and quiet. Being in nature is important to Finns. Almost everyone I know picks berries and mushrooms in the forest, or gets a lot of joy from the peace and quiet. People enjoy swimming in the sea or in one of the thousands of lakes. For some, this includes ice-swimming in winter, with or without sauna. While the immersion is pretty horrible, the feeling afterward is brilliant, with a huge rush of endorphins. Sauna is a very important part of Finnish culture. Best of all is the sauna by a lake or the sea, but the weekly (at least) sauna ritual is enjoyed by most. Families go together, which makes people comfortable with nudity. Usually in a public setting, there is a division by gender (except perhaps with very good friends or university students). I was very impressed that in public swimming pools the adolescent girls were sitting naked in the sauna without any apparent concerns – when at the same age in Australia, kids are changing under their towels! It was in the public sauna that I also saw women with mastectomies for the first time, and bodies of all shapes and sizes. It really brings home the fact that there is no ‘normal’ body shape!
Encouraging independence: In Finland children are encouraged to be much more independent than in Australia. For example they move around on foot or public transport by themselves from a young age and nobody bats an eyelid. When my children were young, they took themselves to school and back. When my children were 7 and 8 years old, they would attend after school care and we would nominate what time they could take themselves home – they didn’t have to be picked up by a parent! This encouragement of independence ties in with Finns embodying a strong acceptance of risk taking as a way for kids to learn, for example kids navigating their way by themselves. Finnish kids have good spatial awareness, orientation and feel confident traveling on public transport from a young age, or heading out to play with friends. It reminds me of when I was a child in the 1960-70s growing up in Australia.
Temperature rules at childcare: Childcare is good quality and subsidised. Teachers usually have Master’s degrees, and closely follow the development of each child. It’s definitely cheaper than in Australia too. Children have to go outside to play during their time at childcare or school breaks until the temperature is below minus 15 degrees, unless it is very windy too. After that they can decide for themselves! They aren’t allowed to just sit inside in the warmth – at least that is the way it was when my kids went to school. Some childcare groups have no physical base at all, and are in the forest all the time, but I think that might not suit all kids.
Kids leaving the nest: Something I have noticed now that my kids are adults is that Finnish parents expect their kids to leave home. My middle child has stayed at home more than being away and my Finnish friends think that is very strange whereas I know that in other countries it is normal. For example, in developing countries where I work, and even now in many western countries due to the cost of living, it’s accepted for adult children to stay at home for longer. I personally don’t mind her being here at all!
Schooling: School here is free and students all receive a hot lunch and free books. In the case of my youngest child, they were also given free IT gear to help with their studies. The best thing is that for primary and lower secondary school at least, the kids all go to the local school, unless there is a specific language preference. While some suburbs are ‘better’ (wealthier) than others, there isn’t a big difference and not much emphasis is placed on where you live. Now that immigration has increased suddenly, there is perhaps a little bias against some areas with high immigrant populations, but not hugely. Upper secondary is more competitive, but there isn’t much difference between the best and worst schools. There are only a handful of international schools where fees apply; English, German, French, Russian schools. Otherwise, all schools are government schools and there is no guilt about where to send your child, like in Australia…oh and no making school lunches in the morning! Schools are quite informal – students call their teachers by their first names.
Homework: Kids don’t get anywhere near as much homework as in Australia, and they only start school at age 7. The last year of child care before school (for 6 year olds) is kindergarten (in the same location as the child care, so it is quite seamless), and is marginally more structured, but there is no pressure to start reading until they are 6-7. The emphasis is on play and being outdoors. Partly that is because Finnish is very easy to learn to read, as it is very phonetic – not the same struggle to learn as with English. The child care /kindergarten teachers were a little shocked when I said I planned to teach my son to read when he was five (as would have been the case in Australia). I think it works fine here to start school later, though I am not sure if the same would apply in all countries.
School building in Finland
Education for all: In Finland the focus is on ‘education for all’, so getting everyone over the bar, rather than catering for high flyers. The oldest child was 14 when we came here so she didn’t want to go to school in Finnish (although she was the best at it) but luckily there was an English stream at the local school and then she was good enough to get into an IB course in another high school. She chose to go for tertiary education to study in Scotland. The middle child struggled more at school, and went to technical school for years 10-12. I hadn’t realised that she was not going well enough to get into the academic line in upper secondary – somehow that was something we didn’t navigate well enough. But she now has finished a Bachelor’s degree in Finland and a Masters in Ireland, so she got there in the end, though it was a bit of a struggle. The youngest has had the smoothest ride educationally. He went through the Finnish mainstream system and then onto university in Finland. It is free also! But it is difficult to get into university here – unlike in Australia where it is relatively easy to get into some university courses, but you get into a lot of student debt.
Esplanade Park in Helsinki
Keeping the culture alive: I continued to speak English with my kids as they were growing up, and my husband always spoke Finnish with them. We followed this set up even in Australia, although they didn’t speak much back to their father in Finnish. When we are all together though, we usually speak English (in fact, my kids don’t like to speak Finnish with me). Trips back to Australia every second year where they were immersed in an English speaking environment was helpful and by reading Australian books in English in Finland.
Getting around: The public transport in the area is great. There are buses, trams and the metro runs every few minutes. There is an honesty system when traveling on trams, train or metro, with occasional ticket inspectors. You can either use a card that you top up – for a set period or individual trips – or use an app on your phone. Public transport is safe and I have always felt fine using it at night (or for the kids to do so). The advantage with many people living in apartments and using public transport is that there are more people on the street, day and night, hence it is safer. Many people ride bikes also, as driving to the city can be difficult due to the parking situation. Cars are mainly used if we are traveling out of town in the summer. To get anywhere else in Europe (apart from Russia) you need to take a ferry first. After that it is feasible to take a train long distance, but international travel is not as simple as in central Europe.
Parent involvement at school: While I cursed having to go to school in the early years in Australia to volunteer to listen to kids reading, it’s something I missed once I moved to Finland. Here, education is highly professional and they seemingly don’t want or need parents interfering. But also the parents aren’t interested and are not so much involved in school life. Personally I felt that a bit more parental involvement in the classroom might be useful, but most parents don’t feel that way!
Having fun: We live a pretty quiet life but when we do get out, we like to do cross-country skiing in winter (for instance, in the local park, or even on the frozen sea – it is also possible to do downhill skiing, but you need to go out of town for that), walking the dog, reading, watching tv and having friends over for dinner. I have a great group of friends in a book club I started so we spend quite a lot of time together. The weather never stops anyone from going out – we just dress more warmly.
Parental leave and childcare: Having given birth to my children in Australia I didn’t experience parental leave in Finland, however it is my understanding that women get paid parental leave for 40 days (including at least 14 pre-birth). Following this, 320 paid days of parental leave are given. If both parents are involved, then both have access to 160 days each. A maximum of 3 months of your allowance can be given over to your partner. Both have to take some time off unless you are a single parent, in which case you get all the days yourself. After this period, parents can get paid a lesser amount to be on child care leave for some years after that. You can also take some of it in batches or as part time leave. But most people don’t do part-time work. When it comes to returning to work, most parents work full time here in Finland. The majority of fathers have some periods off at home with children but the common experience in Australia where women in Australia work part time while children are young is quite unusual in Finland.
Children adjusting to local life: When we first came in 1999, there weren’t many foreigners and it was very difficult for my 7 year old middle child to fit in with local kids. She didn’t speak much Finnish and had a very difficult first 6 months – compared with bringing my stepdaughter to Australia. My stepdaughter didn’t speak English then as I spoke Spanish with her instead, but she learned English very fast and was accepted from the first day by Australian kids in her primary school as they are more used to foreigners in Australia. My son was younger when we moved to Finland. He was almost 4 and he learned Finnish much more quickly. However, he still had trouble adapting to childcare. The teachers ‘complained’ once to us that he was too emotional; he cried when he was sad and hugged other children when he was happy. I felt that this behaviour was appropriate for an Australian child, so found that a bit confronting!
Speaking the language: It has been very difficult for me to learn Finnish. I speak Spanish fluently and learned it quickly, but I was older coming to Finland and have struggled. My passive Finnish is now good but I don’t need to actively use Finnish so much, as there is more and more English being spoken. I passed the Finnish test for my citizenship but my writing is not good. I feel a bit guilty about that. But I know others have had the same experience if they are native English speakers. Foreigners who don’t speak English tend to learn Finnish more quickly because there isn’t another option!
Midsummer Festival: Midsummer is the biggest celebration in Finland. It’s usually spent at summer cottages with family, going to sauna. In the north of the country, the sun doesn’t set for a month and a half! In the south, the sun does set, but only just below the horizon so it stays light all night long during summer. It is a very special feeling, with the garden full of life, and plants literally growing in front of your eyes! It is the payback for the harder months of darkness in winter, where the sun scarcely rises.
After school activities: For grades 1 and 2 there was some after school care, but after that they looked after themselves. They either came home alone, or played with friends or neighbours. My kids enjoyed hanging out in the forest with their friends (building huts of playing hide and seek) or at their friend’s houses too. They also enjoyed playing football or iceball (played with a ball on a big ice field) or ice hockey (played with a puck). Ice hockey is an important sport for Finns – one of the few where Finland excels internationally (often winning the Olympics or World Championships). However, to have a child play ice hockey as a team sport can be expensive and time consuming – there is a lot of gear and rink fees to pay for. I took one daughter for horse riding lessons for a while, but that is also quite expensive as horses have to be stabled). A recent hobby in Finland – particularly for girls and some young women – is riding hobby horses (even doing dressage or showjumping competitions!). My kids were sea scout members. Scout groups in Finland are run by teenagers, not adults. They go on camps, hikes, or in the case of our local group, they went sailing in summer. Things have changed a little since mobile phones have become popular, as in most countries. Certainly kids now spend a lot more time on computers or social media.
Finland in 2023: There are many more foreigners since we came here for the first time in 1991 and the food selection has dramatically increased since we moved here 1999. It used to be that the joke was that the only foreigners here were either working for Nokia or married to a Finn – and that was really pretty true. Now there are many more here coming for studies, work or as refugees. It is making Finland much more multicultural and Finland feels more a part of Europe now.
Finland in 2023: There are many more foreigners since we came here for the first time in 1991 and the food selection has dramatically increased since we moved here 1999. It used to be that the joke was that the only foreigners here were either working for Nokia or married to a Finn – and that was really pretty true. Now there are many more here coming for studies, work or as refugees. It is making Finland much more multicultural and Finland feels more a part of Europe now.
Finland in 2023: There are many more foreigners since we came here for the first time in 1991 and the food selection has dramatically increased since we moved here 1999. It used to be that the joke was that the only foreigners here were either working for Nokia or married to a Finn – and that was really pretty true. Now there are many more here coming for studies, work or as refugees. It is making Finland much more multicultural and Finland feels more a part of Europe now.
Finland in 2023: There are many more foreigners since we came here for the first time in 1991 and the food selection has dramatically increased since we moved here 1999. It used to be that the joke was that the only foreigners here were either working for Nokia or married to a Finn – and that was really pretty true. Now there are many more here coming for studies, work or as refugees. It is making Finland much more multicultural and Finland feels more a part of Europe now.
Finland in 2023: There are many more foreigners since we came here for the first time in 1991 and the food selection has dramatically increased since we moved here 1999. It used to be that the joke was that the only foreigners here were either working for Nokia or married to a Finn – and that was really pretty true. Now there are many more here coming for studies, work or as refugees. It is making Finland much more multicultural and Finland feels more a part of Europe now.
Finland in 2023: There are many more foreigners since we came here for the first time in 1991 and the food selection has dramatically increased since we moved here 1999. It used to be that the joke was that the only foreigners here were either working for Nokia or married to a Finn – and that was really pretty true. Now there are many more here coming for studies, work or as refugees. It is making Finland much more multicultural and Finland feels more a part of Europe now.
Finland in 2023: There are many more foreigners since we came here for the first time in 1991 and the food selection has dramatically increased since we moved here 1999. It used to be that the joke was that the only foreigners here were either working for Nokia or married to a Finn – and that was really pretty true. Now there are many more here coming for studies, work or as refugees. It is making Finland much more multicultural and Finland feels more a part of Europe now.
Finland in 2023: There are many more foreigners since we came here for the first time in 1991 and the food selection has dramatically increased since we moved here 1999. It used to be that the joke was that the only foreigners here were either working for Nokia or married to a Finn – and that was really pretty true. Now there are many more here coming for studies, work or as refugees. It is making Finland much more multicultural and Finland feels more a part of Europe now.
Finland in 2023: There are many more foreigners since we came here for the first time in 1991 and the food selection has dramatically increased since we moved here 1999. It used to be that the joke was that the only foreigners here were either working for Nokia or married to a Finn – and that was really pretty true. Now there are many more here coming for studies, work or as refugees. It is making Finland much more multicultural and Finland feels more a part of Europe now.
Finland in 2023: There are many more foreigners since we came here for the first time in 1991 and the food selection has dramatically increased since we moved here 1999. It used to be that the joke was that the only foreigners here were either working for Nokia or married to a Finn – and that was really pretty true. Now there are many more here coming for studies, work or as refugees. It is making Finland much more multicultural and Finland feels more a part of Europe now.
Finland in 2023: There are many more foreigners since we came here for the first time in 1991 and the food selection has dramatically increased since we moved here 1999. It used to be that the joke was that the only foreigners here were either working for Nokia or married to a Finn – and that was really pretty true. Now there are many more here coming for studies, work or as refugees. It is making Finland much more multicultural and Finland feels more a part of Europe now.
Finland in 2023: There are many more foreigners since we came here for the first time in 1991 and the food selection has dramatically increased since we moved here 1999. It used to be that the joke was that the only foreigners here were either working for Nokia or married to a Finn – and that was really pretty true. Now there are many more here coming for studies, work or as refugees. It is making Finland much more multicultural and Finland feels more a part of Europe now.
Finland in 2023: There are many more foreigners since we came here for the first time in 1991 and the food selection has dramatically increased since we moved here 1999. It used to be that the joke was that the only foreigners here were either working for Nokia or married to a Finn – and that was really pretty true. Now there are many more here coming for studies, work or as refugees. It is making Finland much more multicultural and Finland feels more a part of Europe now.
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